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Feeling Empty Inside: Understanding Your Emotions
Natalie Pleasures Opens Up About Her Heartbreaking Miscarriage Experience in Powerful Podcast Reflection
Warning: This text contains detailed descriptions of miscarriage.
Nick Viall and Natalie Pleasure dove deep into a serious and emotional discussion on their latest podcast episode, where they bravely shared their profound experiences surrounding the loss of their second child through miscarriage. The candid conversation shed light on the raw emotions they faced during this painful journey, resonating with many who have gone through similar experiences.
“I miscarried our second little one, and it was extraordinarily tough. This is still extraordinarily hard. This isn’t easy to talk about; I don’t know the right way to address what has happened,” said Pleasure at the beginning of this week’s Viall News. The couple engaged in a heartfelt and in-depth conversation about the events that unfolded before, during, and after this devastating experience, allowing listeners an intimate glimpse into their struggles.
With emotion evident in her voice, Pleasure, 26, expressed that she wouldn’t apologize for her tears, stating, “It’s so sad, and I’m still processing everything.” She further shared, “As I sit here today, I am actively miscarrying our second child, and it has been the most significant heartbreak, I believe, of my life. The weight of this loss is profound, and it feels overwhelming.”
“I’ve never experienced something where I feel so empty inside,” she shared. Although her friends and family members have faced miscarriages in the past, she emphasized that “you don’t truly comprehend the loss they feel until you endure it yourself. It’s a unique kind of pain that is hard to articulate unless you’ve lived through it.”
The couple highlighted the importance of sharing their experience openly, aiming to ensure that others navigating similar circumstances do not feel isolated and can “feel seen.” This vulnerability is crucial for healing, both for them and their audience, as it fosters a sense of community among those who have faced similar heartaches.
Pleasure articulated that although her “body feels so empty,” she is determined not to “forget this child” or allow “this child to have just been a blip in our lives.” She expressed a heartfelt hope that their other daughter, 11-month-old River, would one day watch the podcast and “see her parents’ love for her sibling who would have been here.” This sentiment showcases the deep emotional connection they continue to hold.
“I just feel dead inside. And it sucks because I have to be so alive for River. You know? I have to be silly and goofy and funny and play with her,” Pleasure continued. “I’m saddened that the only version of me you get right now is this broken person, and I’m truly sorry for that.” Her words reflect the struggle many parents face in balancing grief with parenting responsibilities.
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The couple then recounted the moment of the miscarriage, explaining that it occurred after “spot bleeding for some time” beforehand. The emotional toll of such experiences can be incredibly profound, impacting not just the parents but also their broader support networks.
“I think I knew from the start, but I didn’t want to accept that,” Pleasure recalled. “Then it just got heavier and heavier. I’m so grateful we were home and not traveling—if we had been in a hotel or on an airplane, it would have been so much worse. But we got home, and I went to the bathroom, and it felt like I was giving birth.” This highlights the unpredictability and emotional intensity of such a loss.
“I was screaming and crying, and Nick rushed into the bathroom, and you just think, ‘How are you supposed to stand up and flush this child down the toilet? How do you do that?’” she shared, revealing the shocking reality of their experience. Nick then mentioned that the couple took a shower afterward to try to cope with the overwhelming emotions before Natalie left the room.
“I got my hand in the toilet… all you could see was blood… fortunately, and I was a bit shocked, I was able to retrieve the baby and everything that came with it,” Viall recounted, highlighting the gravity of their situation. He added that the couple had been “able to set it aside so we could mourn the loss, and we want to bury our baby in a place that we can always connect with.” This illustrates the profound emotional impact of their experience and their desire for closure.
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Pleasure expressed that the experience is “something I wouldn’t wish upon anyone,” adding that she felt “so mad at my body for letting it go.” She further reflected, “I just had a successful, uncomplicated pregnancy and delivery, and I’m 26 years old. And like, why? Why me? Why did this happen to me?” These feelings of anger and confusion are common among those who have experienced similar losses.
Despite the overwhelming sorrow, she expressed gratitude towards her doctor for providing insights that have aided her in coping with this difficult situation.
“Our doctor was able to say it was unviable; it wasn’t going to live outside of your body. It gives you some hope… when you focus on the scientific part, I think that’s what gets you through it,” said Pleasure. “Which is extremely hard to do because as the mother, you’re feeling everything. From the moment it was a positive pregnancy test, I felt that baby within me. Up until I lost it, it’s so real.” This highlights the emotional complexities involved in processing such a loss.
Watch the complete conversation above.
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