Sharing his story on the notorious AITA (“Am I the A–hole”) discussion board, the OP (a.okay.a. “the unique poster”) shared two tales he believed had been relatively comparable — one particular his response to what his girlfriend was sporting to an occasion and the opposite her response to his option.

If he was on the lookout for a clear-reduce consensus from the net discussion board, he was undoubtedly inside the flawed location (and most likely the flawed nation). As an option, the response was in all locations. There have been some who sided with him, some who sided collectively with his girlfriend … and a couple of who weren’t possessing it with each of them!

Learn on to seek out out precisely what occurred.

OP began his story by sharing that he, 28, and his girlfriend, 27, have been courting for 18 months. He stated that whereas they do not ordinarily struggle, this instance was their biggest one particular but. As he described it, the struggle occurred earlier this yr “once I questioned what she wished to put on to a groom’s dinner at my buddy’s marriage ceremony.”

“I used to be within the marriage ceremony get together and we had spent your complete day setting issues up for the marriage. The groom’s dinner was that night time and was going to be a really informal affair since everybody was sweaty and drained from working all day,” he defined. “My GF arrived later within the day and requested me if I may meet her at our lodge so she may change.”

He stated that on the lodge, she placed on “a reasonably fancy gown, form of like a cocktail gown that she would put on to a membership.” OP instructed her it was an off-the-cuff dinner “since everybody had labored all day and folks weren’t going to be dressing up.” He stated his girlfriend “scolded me and instructed me that I do not get to inform her what to put on. She stated she’s going to give me a cross that one time, however I ought to by no means once more criticize or query what she needs to put on.”

“I dropped it however once we obtained to the dinner and she or he noticed how overdressed she was, she obtained embarrassed although individuals commented on how good she regarded,” OP added.

All of that was to arrange the triggering incident that drove him to Reddit and AITA. “This previous weekend, we had been invited to a pool get together at my GF’s buddy’s home. Because it was near the 4th of July, I made a decision to interrupt out my American flag speedo that I obtained in school as a joke. I used to be making an attempt it on earlier than we left to verify it nonetheless match OK and my GF noticed me,” he wrote. “She requested me WTF I used to be sporting and instructed me that I am unable to put on that. I requested her why not and she or he instructed me it is gross, revealing, and unattractive.”

“I instructed her the identical factor she instructed me on the marriage ceremony, that she would not get to inform me what to put on,” he countered. “She instructed me that’s not the identical scenario in any respect and I will make a idiot of myself. I instructed her that if I am sporting this speedo, clearly I do not take myself too critically.” He even stated he’d “convey a spare swimsuit if she’s going to make such an enormous deal out of it.”

On the get collectively, the Speedo “obtained a couple of laughs from my GF’s mates,” immediately after which OP stated he started enjoying pool volleyball with a further guys and “simply went about my day having enjoyable.” Conversely, his girlfriend “spent many of the day inside by herself or with a couple of mates, she barely got here out by the pool.”

He stated that she did come out at one particular level, “pulled me apart and requested me to please change out of the speedo as a result of I am embarrassing her. I instructed her that she’s the one one who’s making an enormous deal out of this and that if I am within the pool nobody notices or cares anyway.”

Later that evening time, OP stated his girlfriend “requested me if I used to be going to apologize to her.” He replied, “I do not really feel like I’ve something to apologize for and she or he instructed me I embarrassed her all day even after she instructed me to take off the speedo. I instructed her she must loosen up as a result of she’s making an enormous deal out of a bit enjoyable joke however she thinks I am an AH.”

So he desires to know: “AITA For sporting an American flag speedo to a pool get collectively and embarrassing my GF“

As you may possibly feel, responses had been in all locations on this one particular, with some undoubtedly getting a response to the additional conservative American stance on what’s acceptable in males’s swimwear. However there have been a lot who had points on either side no matter their tackle swim briefs.

Definitely there have been a lot who had been on OP’s aspect. “She’s making an attempt to manage what you put on. You had been proper to close her down, similar to she did if you tried to cease her from going overdressed to an occasion and had been instructed to kick rocks,” argued one particular. “She will be able to’t inform you that you could’t management her wardrobe after which flip round and do precisely the identical factor to you.”

Others got right here in to qualify that the situations weren’t precisely apples to apples each, with one particular person noting, “OP wasn’t making an attempt to manage what she wore within the first incident. He supplied her data so she may make an knowledgeable alternative and gf over reacted.” One other agreed, which includes, “Proper? He did not inform her NOT to put on it. He did not say it might embarrass him. His concern was for her, as a result of he knew that she could be method nicer dressed than everybody else.”

“In distinction, on the pool get together, the girlfriend referred to as the speedo ‘gross, revealing, and unattractive,’” commented one particular other Redditor. “She did not appear involved with OP’s consolation degree. Does she even like her boyfriend?” One person speculated, “Think about if OP had described the girlfriend’s gown as ‘gross, revealing, and unattractive.’”

Loads of commenters went in on the girlfriend, with one particular person writing, “Informing somebody of gown code is definitely a sort factor to do – and it seems like she was imply about it after which later embarrassed! I might’ve stated, ‘oh thanks for letting me know!’ And saved the cocktail gown for an additional time. Then she’s imply and controlling in regards to the speedo. Then she ruins the day due to it.”

They concluded OP wasn’t inside the flawed appropriate right here, “however your girlfriend simply sounds imply. That is when this stuff reveal themselves. Think about being married to somebody who treats you want this. It’s not like she’s going to get nicer. That is her greatest conduct proper now.”

There have been some who found topic with how the boyfriend dealt with the complete situation, as well, recalling that he’d written he’d convey a one of a kind swimsuit if she was going to make such an huge deal out of it — which she clearly was … and he clearly did not. “He may have gotten the eye he wished after which modified, however no,” wrote one particular reader. “He might not be an a-hole, however he obtained a-hole tendencies.”

That stated, there have been these that defended the girlfriend’s tackle her boyfriend inside the tight-fitting swimwear. “my man’s sizzling and I find it irresistible when he’s bare or strolling round in his underwear however there’s something that’s simply unattractive to me about speedos,” commented one particular. “The sexiest man alive may throw on a speedo and it might be flip off tbh.”

One other noticed it as OP having once more at his girlfriend for a way she handled him more than the get collectively gown, calling them each and every out for his or her “tit for tat conduct.” They wrote, “As an alternative of speaking s–t out they each simply do what they need figuring out full properly it is upsetting the opposite individual … He used the chance to get again at her and in doing so simply stooped all the way down to her degree. If her conduct was flawed earlier than, then him doing the identical factor can also be flawed.”

“She set the usual that they don’t have any say in what every wears. She was clear about that,” one particular Redditor counter-argued. “I hardly suppose it is honest to name abiding by the usual your companion units as antagonizing. Possibly he wished to rock his speedo at a pool get together the place it matches the theme. It is sensible that he did not determine she may ban him from sporting it given the historical past.”

Whereas some conceded that a Speedo will not be their aspect, they nonetheless did not see why it was embarrassing for the girlfriend. One commenter wrote, “Speedos are simply ick, in my view. See that? My opinion. I do not actually care what you do. Not my enterprise.” One other marveled on the outrage, which includes, “It’s not like he was sporting a rubbish bag for a diaper. It’s a traditional useful acceptable swimsuit he had on.”

When one particular commenter was instructed they had been displaying their prejudice by getting towards the swimwear, one particular other replied, “It isn’t prejudice. It is cultural norms. Carrying speedos to a 4th of July get together in most locations within the US is exterior of the cultural norms.”

“Onerous disagree that sporting speedos to a pool get together are exterior cultural norms. I actually see it yearly, don’t put on one myself. To not point out you don’t see individuals calling it gross each couple of years once they watch the Olympics are on,” replied one particular Redditor. “And ignoring all that, simply because it’s a ‘cultural norm’ doesn’t imply it’s not prejudiced.”

However OP wasn’t going to get off the hook that basically. “You had been at her buddy’s home and also you wore one thing gross for comedic impact. She instructed you it might embarrass her and it did,” wrote one particular commenter. “She then again, overdressed for a dinner as soon as. It was not awkward, inappropriate or embarrassing. If something, she went out of her strategy to not embarrass you.”

Nonetheless one particular other reader agreed with this sentiment, which includes, “Being respectfully however barely overdressed is method completely different than sporting a speedo initially purchased ‘as a joke.’ What if she wore one thing grossly revealing to the groom’s dinner?”

The repeated use of the phrase “gross” rankled one particular commenter enough to ask, “How is a speedo grosser than a bikini?” One reply attempted to clarify, “It is determined by the place you reside, however in many of the US a male sporting a Speedo is equal to a girl sporting a thong and pasties over her nipples … It’s a cultural factor, and OP expressed her embarrassment appropriately.” To this the one of a kind commenter replied merely, “Ah so simply to sexist prudes it’s worse, obtained it ”

“I believe it is fairly humorous. My son has one among these ‘American flag’ speedos,” wrote one particular Redditor. “I am unable to say I am the most important fan of it… however contemplating he additionally has one which has the Burger King brand on the a– and the phrases ‘Residence of the whopper’ on the entrance, simply preserve telling your [girlfriend] ‘Hey it could possibly be worse.’”

What do you suppose?