Metal Christmas Songs to Avoid with Your Family
If you’re planning a festive gathering this year and want to keep the atmosphere warm and inviting, you should definitely steer clear of these 10 metal Christmas songs. These tracks are notorious for their explicit lyrics and dark themes that can quickly turn a joyful celebration into an awkward situation. Nothing drives your loved ones away faster than songs that feature disturbing tales involving Santa, strippers, and even axe murders. However, if your goal is to create an unforgettable and perhaps chaotic Christmas, then maybe you should consider cranking up these tracks. After all, who are we to judge your holiday intentions?
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Below, you’ll find a list of 10 metal songs that are best left off your family-friendly Christmas playlist—unless you genuinely want to encourage your relatives to make a swift exit.
Corey Taylor’s “X-M@$”: A Holiday Anthem to Skip
Lyrics That Will Make Your Family Leave:
“If I ain’t drunk then it ain’t Christmas / You know where to stick those jingle bells / If I ain’t hammered, it ain’t Hanukkah / And all you motherfuckers go to hell.” These lyrics certainly set a rowdy tone for the holiday season! Corey Taylor’s rendition captures the spirit of rebellion, making it clear that festive gatherings can take a turn for the worse if this song starts playing. The explicit content and chaotic message can be a surefire way to send your family packing, which might not be the ideal way to celebrate.
Steel Panther’s “Sexy Santa”: A Risqué Take on Christmas
Lyrics That Will Make Your Family Leave:
“In the back of his sleigh, he’s got some hoe hoe hoe’s / They’re lickin’ eggnog drippin’ from his firehose / He traded little Prancer for an exotic dancer / Yeah, you can see his North Pole if you look at his pants-a / He’s got a bitchin’ red suit and he’s totally buff / He’ll come to your house if you got a stocking to stuff.” Steel Panther is known for their tongue-in-cheek humor, but this song may cross the line for many families. The suggestive lyrics and cheeky references can create an uncomfortable vibe around the holiday dinner table. If keeping the peace is your priority this season, it’s best to keep this track off the playlist.
King Diamond’s “No Presents For Christmas”: A Dark Holiday Tune
Lyrics That Will Make Your Family Leave:
“There’s no presents, not this Christmas / There’s no presents / Tom and Jerry, drinking Sherry / They don’t give a damn.” This song from King Diamond is a stark contrast to the typical festive tunes we hear during the holidays. The lack of presents and the bleak tone of the lyrics can quickly dampen spirits and put a damper on any cheerful gathering. It’s a classic example of how metal can twist the holiday spirit into something unrecognizable.
Ice Nine Kills’ “Merry Axe-Mass”: A Horror Story for the Holidays
Lyrics That Will Make Your Family Leave:
“‘Twas the night before Christmas / At just five years old / My parents were butchered / In the blistering cold / He seemed jolly at first / In his suit stained with red / He let out a laugh /
