Just under two weeks after the couple finalized their divorce and lifted their twin restraining orders, the Complete Bellas star took to her The Nikki & Brie Present podcast to express her thoughts on the difficult breakup.

Although Nikki described the split as “heartbreaking,” the former WWE star, who shares a four-year-old son named Matteo with Artem, admitted that she had been “play[ing] up” the state of their relationship in the public eye, often concealing the true struggles they faced.

“I wanted [him] to heal. I wanted [him] to get help … because that’s what my son, [Matteo], deserves,” Nikki articulated, emphasizing her desire for both her partner and child to be in a supportive environment during such a challenging time.

Continuing her heartfelt sentiments, she shared, “It’s sad. [The relationship] hasn’t been great for a long time. I really played it up like things were a lot better than they were in the public eye. I felt like, ‘If I can just put this person on a pedestal … maybe they will believe that in themselves.’”

Nikki also mentioned her strong desire to avoid “another failed public relationship,” alluding to her previous breakup with former fiancé, John Cena, indicating the immense pressure she felt to maintain a favorable public image.

Her return to the podcast was profoundly emotional, as Nikki joined her sister Brie Garcia to unpack the complexities of the split during the December 2 episode.

“I first want to just thank everyone—the listeners, you, family, friends, coworkers, people I haven’t talked to in a long time—for all of the love and support, for the respect of privacy and space,” Nikki expressed at the start of the show, highlighting the importance of community during difficult times.

Nikki shared, “The past few months, I disconnected from social media, from the world. I just knew that I needed to disconnect because, first things first, I am a mother, and my son’s safety and privacy are crucial. I was going to do whatever it took for that, most importantly, and then just needing space for healing, for facing trauma head-on, all of that. So it has been tough. It has been really tough. I’ve been heartbroken and sad.”

The 41-year-old detailed her coping strategies in the aftermath of the breakup, revealing that she could have never predicted the turn their relationship took when they tied the knot two years ago.

“You dream of having this family, and you have this incredible love,” the former WWE star reflected, “and it just goes the other way. You go from having an amazing love story to living a nightmare, and—I never saw any of it coming. You know, as far as what the ending would be. So it’s just been a struggle.”

Nikki’s insights into her journey come three months after the Dancing With the Stars professional, who shares four-year-old son Matteo with the WWE star, faced a significant incident involving Artem, leading to his arrest on a suspicion of felony domestic violence charge.

On August 29, Artem was arrested following an incident at their shared residence. According to a September press release, local prosecutors opted not to pursue charges after reviewing the evidence presented.

In the same month, Nikki filed for divorce from Artem, 42, citing his arrest as the official date of their separation, as indicated in court documents obtained by TMZ.

While Nikki refrained from detailing every aspect of her relationship with Artem, she did share her emotional state in the aftermath.

“I’ve been so shocked, beyond words, and it has been heartbreaking,” she explained. “You lose your appetite, you cry a lot. And then I also stepped up and made sure everything was okay for Matteo. So it’s just been—I don’t even know what other words to use.”

Now, Nikki is focusing on moving forward and prioritizing the well-being of their son.

“The only thing that I’ve realized from disconnecting from the world is that when you know the truth, nothing else matters,” Nikki shared. “So when some of you would come to me and tell me what people were saying or what was out there, it might have affected me eventually, but because I know the truth and I actually lived it, it didn’t have a big impact on me.”

“All I need to do is focus on my healing. I need to focus on Matteo’s healing,” she added, emphasizing the importance of emotional recovery for both of them.

Regarding Artem, he has contested Nikki’s account of their confrontation, claiming in his filed response that she was the aggressor during their August incident. The following month, Artem expressed that his son Matteo remained his primary focus moving forward.

“He’s my world, and being his father is the greatest blessing in my life,” Artem stated in a September 25 statement. “All along, my main concern has been for him.”

He continued, “I’m committed to continuing to provide him with the love, support, and care he needs as we move forward. I’m hopeful that securing an equal custody arrangement will help us transition into the next chapter of our lives.”